


Baby, It's Cold Outside

by LeisurelyPanda



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Boners, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Christmas, Christmas Smut, Come Marking, Dom Steve Rogers, Dom/sub Undertones, Enthusiastic Consent, Gambling, Gay Bucky Barnes, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Oblivious Bucky Barnes, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Oblivious boys are oblivious, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Steve Rogers, Praise Kink, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sharing a Bed, Smol Dom Steve, Snowed In, Sub Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 11:56:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16953561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeisurelyPanda/pseuds/LeisurelyPanda
Summary: Steve hates snow. He hates winter. But he loves Christmas and he's been looking forward to it all semester. All he really wants is to get home so he can relax and spend the holiday with his Ma. Bucky loves snow. He loves winter. He's Jewish, so Christmas isn't a huge deal for him, but he loves the winter songs that come on when Christmas rolls around. So when a blizzard comes rolling in while he and Steve are driving home from college at the end of the semester, he's pretty excited. Steve hates it on principle. Unfortunately, they get caught in it and are forced to pull over and weather out the storm at the nearest cheap motel they can find. There's just one problem. There's only one bed.Can they survive three days of awkwardness and sexual tension? Will their feelings emerge or will they tiptoe around each other as they always have? Will it end in disaster or will it give them the chance to find happiness at last?





	Baby, It's Cold Outside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoldBlooded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldBlooded/gifts), [wilfling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilfling/gifts).



> Okay, so first thing's first. This fic exists as a Christmas present for my two friends, [wilfling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilfling/pseuds/wilfling) and [GoldBlooded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldBlooded/pseuds/GoldBlooded). Hope you guys enjoy it and Merry Christmas! 💖💖💖💖💖

Steve gripped the wheel of the old 2000 Buick car that he inherited from his grandparents when he got accepted to University of Cincinnati on an academic scholarship. Bucky sat in the passenger seat next to him staring out at the dark, threatening clouds rolling in from the northwest through the mirror on his side. In their finals induced relief/exhaustion, neither of them had bothered to look at the weather. If they had, they would’ve seen that the weather stations were calling for a veritable blizzard. Optimistic forecasts called for about a foot of snow. More realistic ones were predicting at least a foot and a half. 

_God, I hate winter_ , Steve thought. He glared into his rearview mirror. Getting stuck in a blizzard almost halfway between Cincinnati and Brooklyn wasn’t how he wanted to start his winter break. We should’ve left sooner. _Maybe we would’ve beat the weather._

To be fair, neither he nor Bucky had woken up before 11. With the last of their finals behind them, they’d celebrated with a bottle of vodka and whatever clear-ish drinks they had in the fridge of their apartment. The hangover had seemed worth it at the time and they hadn’t left until around 1. It was the quickest, most haphazard packing that Steve had done in his life. 

He chewed on his lower lip as he did a mental inventory of everything he’d packed before they left. They had blankets, coats, half a dozen boxes of protein bars, and a bunch of junk food in case they got stuck somewhere. 

“Steve, glaring at the storm isn’t gonna make it go away,” Bucky said, interrupting Steve’s thoughts. “Keep your eyes on the road.” 

“It was worth a shot,” Steve grumbled. “We should’ve left earlier. I hate snow.” 

“I know,” Bucky sighed with longsuffering. “I’ve been looking up places we might be able to hole up for the night if it comes to that.” 

“How long to we have before it hits?” Steve asked. 

“From what I can figure, an hour or two.” 

“Then we’ll make as much traction as we can before then,” Steve declared. 

“Aye, aye, captain,” Bucky said. 

Steve didn’t have to look to see the sardonic grin on Bucky’s face as he said the words. Steve was always the take charge sort for such a skinny guy. Bucky was the one to look out for him in their younger years when Steve’s heart was bigger than his body and it led him into fights he couldn’t win. Nowadays, Steve liked to think that he was more reasonable. Bucky would probably find that hilarious. 

“Shut up and turn some music on,” Steve grumbled. “Maybe it’ll take my mind off the weather.” 

What followed was a montage of literally ever Christmas song relating to snow and the unreasonable amount of merriment that such songs tended to associate with it, starting with _Let it Snow._ Steve groaned loudly. He reached over to change stations, but Bucky cackled and batted his hand away. 

“Shut up and listen to the damn music, Rogers,” he laughed. “You’ve been bellyaching about the snow ever since you found out that it was within 100 miles of you. Let me have some fun with it for a bit.” 

Bucky, unlike Steve, loved snow and winter. He was always the one who somehow persuaded Steve to go running out into the cold when he was a kid to build snowmen and have snowball fights when they weren’t in school. When he found out about the blizzard, his immediate reaction was something along the lines of: “SNOOOOOOOOW!!!” 

It felt like forever until the radio station seemed to get off its sadistic, snow summoning, devil music kick and the station changed to normal, appropriate holiday music. He sang along happily (if off-key) to silent night until said appropriate holiday music stabbed him in the back by playing _In the Bleak Midwinter._ He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically as he set his sights on the road and hoped that the music wouldn’t end up making the storm that was lumbering steadily in their direction even worse. 

Bucky just laughed as he hummed along to the music happily. “For someone who loves Christmas so much, you sure do hate a lot of Christmas songs,” Bucky remarked when the song was done. 

“I don’t hate them,” Steve argued. “I just don’t think that they should be playing these songs when a fucking blizzard is coming. It’s almost like the local DJs are asking for trouble.” 

“Or, and hear me out on this one, maybe they just happen to like snow,” Bucky replied. “You know, like reasonable people who like winter and aren’t busy being a snow Grinch.” 

Steve glared at his friend playfully. Bucky had a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. Teasing him seemed to be Bucky’s favorite pastime. Truthfully, Steve didn’t mind it all that much. It helped set his mind at ease, knowing that his best friend was with him making lighthearted banter about his general disagreeableness regarding snow. 

“I’m not a Grinch,” Steve muttered. 

“Jerk, you’re gonna be that old man shoveling snow off his sidewalk when your like 90 muttering about how you’re gonna break a hip one of these days and waving your shovel at little brats who pass by,” Bucky said. 

“Kids these days should respect their elders,” Steve said in his best imitation of a thin, wheezing voice. “Get off my lawn you ungrateful brats!”

Bucky laughed again. “Yeah, that’s gonna be you, all right!” he declared. “Honestly, one of these days you’re going to have to admit that it’s weird that you love Christmas, but if anyone even thinks about hoping for snow on Christmas, you turn into a Scrooge.” 

“Humbug,” Steve grumbled. “One of these days you’re going to have to admit that it’s weird that you like Christmas music even though you’re Jewish.” 

“What can I say?” Bucky said with a shrug. “I’m unfortunate enough to live in a society that doesn’t ever play Hanukkah music. I might as well make the most of it. Besides, there’s nothing religious about a lot of it, unless you’re telling me that there’s some hidden meaning to _Jingle Bells_ or _Frosty the Snowman._ ” 

“Pretty sure Frosty’s the devil, but that’s just me,” Steve replied. He glanced at Bucky and grinned as Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“And I’m pretty sure that I was at school for Hanukkah this year and didn’t get to celebrate it with my family,” Bucky replied. “Let me be festive, you old fuddy-duddy.” 

They drove along for another hour before the snow started to fall. Bucky smiled broadly, while Steve glowered but said nothing. He was forced to slow down, however. The snow skipped the part where it falls in light flurries that dance on the wind straight to the part where it fell heavy and wet upon the ground. 

They managed to drive another hour before the snow started sticking to the roads. After another hour, there was a small layer of snow on the highway with noticeable grooves where cars had left them and Steve could barely see. Bucky’s lighthearted, jovial view of the snow morphed to concern. They were still in the north, after all. People knew to treat the roads before a major snow storm instead of just leaving it to the whims of Mother Nature like people seemed to do in the south. That it was already starting to stick to the roads was something of a concern. 

“Still got that list of places where we can check in for the night?” Steve asked. 

“Sure do,” Bucky replied. 

“Which one is closest?” 

The closest place turned out to be a cheap motel on the side of the road off the next exit. The parking lot was already packed, which was somewhat odd. _Maybe not_ , Steve thought. People might have been getting off to take shelter if they were like him and Bucky. He managed to snag the last spot, the snow crunching beneath the wheels of his clunky old car. It slid the last few feet and ran into the concrete parking placement. 

“Fuck this weather,” Steve swore. Bucky nodded silently. They climbed out and grabbed the food and bags and headed towards the front door. Their car was the furthest from it and the temperature had dropped severely since the storm started.

A small bell chimed as they entered the room, shivering and cold. The interior of the motel looked a bit dingy. A portly, middle aged man whose baldness had overtaken the top of his head so that the only bits of auburn hair to be seen was on the sides stood behind the front desk. He looked absolutely delighted to see them. 

“Hello, boys, welcome!” he cried. His name tag read, “Frank”. “Here to take a room to weather out this storm?” 

Steve groaned at the pun. Bucky laughed, though. _Of course he would_ , Steve thought. Bucky loved bad puns. 

“Yeah, we’ll take whatever room you’ve got,” Steve replied. 

“As it happens, there is one room left,” Frank said, holding up the key. “I’m afraid it’s a bit small, though.” 

“We don’t need anything fancy, sir,” Bucky said. “Storm’s looking pretty nasty already, though, so we’d just as soon not have to head back out.” 

“Yes, my boy, I understand,” Frank said. “Normally it’s $80 a night, but considering the circumstances, I’ll let you boys stay for $60.” 

“That’s very generous of you,” Steve replied. “Do we pay now or when we leave?” 

“First payment, now, if you please,” Frank replied. Steve grimaced and took out his wallet. He had a little more than $100 on his debit card that his parents gave him for the gas. He looked at Bucky, who was already handing his card to Frank. Before Steve could protest, the card was swiped and the receipt printed out. 

“Thank you, boys,” Frank said with a smile as he gave Bucky the key. “I hope you enjoy your stay. If you need food, there’s a pizza place next door that might still be open.” 

Steve didn’t bother saying anything one way or the other about that. He grabbed his bags and followed Bucky out the door. Bucky walked all the way to the end to a door labelled with the number 17. He turned the key in the lock and went inside with Steve following along close behind. 

The room was nearly about as dingy as the office they’d come from. The carpet was some hideous salmon colored floral design that hadn’t been updated since sometime in the 80s. There was a television and a remote on a set of drawers placed in the center of the inside wall. Next to it on the far side across from the door to the bathroom was a table lined with beige linoleum and a pair of plastic chairs cushioned with the same salmon colored fabric. 

Most significant, however, was the single, queen size bed in the center of the room. Steve took another look around and verified that there was, indeed, only one bed. At that moment, he was really glad that he wasn’t as big as Bucky. Two people his size in this bed would’ve been snug. Bucky set his bags down on one side and sat down. 

“Well, it’ll do for however long we need it, I guess,” Bucky said. “I’m going to walk over to the pizza place and see about getting some food if they’re still open.” 

“You’re really going to walk over and make people work in this weather?” Steve asked. 

“If it means that we’ll eat something other than protein bars and Cheetos tonight? Yes,” Bucky replied. “Besides, I’m not the one who can send them home tonight.” 

Steve opened his mouth to protest, but said nothing. He had a point. 

“I’ll see if I can call our folks, then,” Steve said eventually. “Let them know where we are and what’s going on.” 

“Good idea,” Bucky said. “See if they can send us some money. This storm is supposed to last a few days, apparently.” 

“Great,” Steve muttered. 

He hoped that the storm would pass sooner than expected.

* * *

Bucky came back roughly 40 minutes after he left with three boxes of pizza. Steve’s eyes shot up when he saw them. 

“Where did you get the money for three pizzas?” he asked. “Did you give the manager a blowjob or something?”

“You’re hilarious,” Bucky drawled. “I happened to mention how we were college students out of Cincinnati that got stuck in the storm. She must have a soft spot for sob stories because she gave us free pizza.” 

“And this had nothing to do with any sweet talking on your part?” Steve asked with an arched eyebrow. He opened one box. It was a meat lover’s pizza with pepperoni, sausage, bacon, and beef. He got a plate and grabbed a couple slices. 

“Might have,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Who care? It got us free pizza.” 

Steve decided to let it go. This would have to last them until the storm cleared, whenever that happened. He’d managed to get a signal while Bucky was gone. It was due to last for three days. They’d be stuck here for a while unless it cleared up. 

“So, I was thinking that you could have the bed tonight and I’d sleep on the floor,” Bucky said as he got out a pizza with spinach, onions, and mushrooms. 

“What?” Steve asked

“You know, there’s only one bed,” Bucky said. 

Steve hadn’t actually thought about that. Somehow the thought of sleeping had seemed inconsequential until he got something to eat. Now that he was eating, though, he could see how it might be a problem. On the other hand, the floor had seen better days. There were stains that Steve didn’t want to know how long had been there. He was already planning on leaving his laundry in the car when he got back to his place. The last thing he needed was bed bugs. 

“You really want to sleep on the floor?” Steve asked. “Have you looked at this floor?” 

Bucky looked around the room and wrinkled his nose. Steve mirrored him. The idea of switching off didn’t improve the situation. They’d be here for a while as it was. 

“The bed might fit us both,” Bucky said. “You know… in case we need to keep warm.” 

Sleeping in the same bed as Bucky… the idea made him blush. The idea of huddling close to him, his arms around Bucky’s body so they could stay warm filled him with equal parts joy and revulsion. Joy because his crush on Bucky went back as far as Steve could remember. Revulsion because huddling for warmth would mean that the power had failed and they would be trying not to freeze. 

“We could,” Steve said in a small voice. “You’re right, we’d probably both fit.” 

“So… are we sleeping in the same bed?” Bucky asked. Steve swallowed as his blush spread. 

“Uh… yeah.”

* * *

Steve lay awake that night. He listened to each exhale of Bucky’s breath as he stared at the wall in front of him. Bucky stayed on his side of the bed and didn’t make any move towards Steve in any way. Outside the wind howled and every now and then Steve thought he heard a snow truck go by. Steve imagined himself somewhere on a beach in the summer, warm and happy and his fair skin getting burned and freckled by the sun and the only thing frozen within a hundred miles was fucking ice cream. 

Maybe Bucky would be there, lounging on the beach with him. Knowing him, Bucky would probably race down to the cold ocean water pulling Steve along behind him. The thought of splashing around with him in the shallows, spending his day with Bucky alone at a beach always filled him with a sense of longing. 

Unfortunately, Steve was about 90% sure that Bucky didn’t see him that way. He knew that Bucky was gay, and Bucky knew that Steve was bisexual, but neither of them had ever done anything. It was ridiculous, honestly, but Steve didn’t know what else to do. 

He rolled over on his back and glanced at Bucky. Bucky was facing away from him and breathing softly. He wanted to move over, touch his friend, do something, anything! But if Bucky were to reject him…

_No_ , Steve thought. It would be better if Bucky didn’t know, that way Steve couldn’t get rejected. If he did and he lost his friend… Steve didn’t know what he’d do if that happened. Growing up with a single mother in Brooklyn wasn’t the easiest life in the world. A lot of the time, Steve had felt like Bucky was the only thing in his life that made sense. Everything else was out of his control, but Bucky was there to make sure Steve didn’t lose his head. 

He sighed up into the cold, aching void. The storm howled on. Steve’s forlorn sigh went unheard.

* * *

Steve woke earlier than Bucky, as usual. Although technically, he hadn’t really slept all that much except for maybe a couple hours. After that, he’d lain awake until what he deemed an acceptable time to get out of bed. Steve groaned softly as he did so. The bed was more comfortable than the mattresses at the college apartment he shared with Bucky, but not by much. He cracked his back as he stood and grabbed some clothes from his suitcase. He was midway through changing when he heard it.

“Um, Steve?” Bucky asked. Steve jumped and turned around to see Bucky very pointedly looking at the ceiling with a faint blush on his face. 

“Shit, sorry, I thought you were asleep!” Steve shouted. He bent to pull his fresh pair of boxers on and dashed to the bathroom. He slammed the door closed and locked it before he looked down and realized that he’d left his clothes outside. “Fucking hell!” 

Before he could unlock the door, he heard a soft knock. He opened it and Bucky’s hand appeared holding Steve’s clothes. He wordlessly accepted the bundle and closed the door. Instead of getting dressed, however, he looked over at the shower. It looked clean from what Steve could tell, and the towels certainly looked clean. He decided not to think too hard about it and turned the water on. He shucked his boxers to the floor and stepped into the steaming stream of water. 

_Thank goodness the hot water is working_ , he thought. He let the water fall over him for a couple minutes before he opened his eyes and looked down. His cock was hard, the traitorous bastard. Knowing his luck, it was probably hard to begin with. Steve had morning wood more often than not. 

He realized with a rush that Bucky might have seen him hard. “Oh fuck,” he hissed. It wasn’t enough to make his erection go down any, though. He thought of what might’ve happened had Steve not panicked and run out and Bucky be the sort of person who actually found Steve attractive. 

He imagined Bucky getting up, walking over to him all smooth confidence with a wry, seductive smile on his face as he knelt in front of Steve. He’d take Steve’s cock in his hand and jerk it slowly as he looked up into Steve’s eyes. Steve moaned as he gripped the base of his cock and began to jerk it lightly. In his mind’s eye, Bucky mimicked his movement, right up until Bucky would kiss the head and take Steve’s cock in his mouth. 

“Fuck,” Steve whispered. He braced himself against the slick wall of the shower. His breathing hitched as he closed his eyes and imagined the wetness of the water on his cock being Bucky’s mouth, his tongue running over the head of Steve’s cock and tracing the veins from root to stem. 

Finesse went out the window. Steve jerked himself furiously, desperately. He thought of Bucky’s eyes looking up into his as he looked up into Steve’s and swallowed his cock to the root. Steve felt his stomach tighten as his orgasm formed. He wanted to grip Bucky’s long, beautiful hair and fuck into his pretty mouth, feel Bucky moaning around him. 

He bit his fist to keep from moaning as he came. His come shot out from his cock onto the floor to be washed away by the running water. Steve sighed and leaned against the wall of the shower for a moment. 

“Fuck,” he sighed. 

He righted himself and grabbed the soap. He washed himself quickly. It was easier since his body was relatively small. He was quick and efficient and when the water stopped he dried and dressed himself with that same efficiency. He stepped out to a quiet, empty motel room. He sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

Maybe it’s for the best, he thought. They could forget that the mishap had ever happened and hopefully nothing would be awkward between them when Bucky got back from wherever he was. He groaned as he fetched the remote and turned on the tv. He flipped through the channels until he found something about the weather. Local people thought the storm would last about three days. Steve groaned again. It would be a long few days ahead if this morning was anything to go by. 

Bucky returned about 20 minutes later. He was shivering and his face was red as he pulled his scarf down. He was bundled appropriately for the cold, but that didn’t make Steve feel better. 

“Where have you been?” he demanded. “It’s a damn blizzard outside and you went out in it?!”

“I was making a phone call,” Bucky replied shortly. 

“Any reason why you couldn’t do that in here?” Steve asked, crossing his arms. 

“Privacy,” Bucky replied. “I’m gonna take a shower.” 

And with that, the conversation ended. Steve lay on the bed and tried not to think about the fact that the last bit felt like a personal punch in the gut. 

_Stupid_ , he thought bitterly. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Bucky would probably never see him as anything other than a friend. Steve was a damn fool for hoping that he would. The sting of rejection hurt as badly as he thought it would. He wasn’t sure whether this was preferable to confessing his feelings for his friend. It hurt either way. 

Bucky came out of the shower bathroom about 20 minutes later fully dressed with his hair wrapped in a towel. Steve dried his eyes and sat up, looking at the tv again. Whoever the tv personality was, he was talking about some local news that Steve didn’t really care about. 

“Hey,” Bucky said as he sat down next to Steve. “Sorry I was short with you.” 

“It’s okay,” Steve replied. “You’re up earlier than you’re used to.” 

“That’s no excuse,” Bucky countered. “I was calling our parents to let them know how long the storm would last and that we were still okay.” 

“Thanks.” 

They sat silently for a while. Local accumulations were up to a foot with no sign of stopping soon. It was a huge storm for this time of year. Steve wondered it was supposed to be a curse or something. 

“Do you wanna talk about… it?” Bucky asked. Steve blushed and swallowed. He reached back to rub at his neck. 

“No, I’m good,” he lied. 

“Oh. Okay,” Bucky said. “Just… I love you, man.” 

Steve smiled thinly but didn’t respond. Bucky said it all the time. Steve said it back all the time. But they always said it as friends. Somehow the words just served to twist the knife in Steve’s gut. He was really debating walking out or something. Instead, they just sat there and stared at the tv without paying much attention to what was on. They were quiet for another several minutes before Steve changed the channel to some police procedural. It was better than staring at the weather all day, at any rate.

* * *

What followed was one of the most boring and awkward days Steve had ever experienced. He tried taking a walk around noon, but the weather was so cold and windy that he turned around after a few minutes. He returned to find Bucky doing pushups and had to make himself not stare at his arms as they bent and pushed against the floor. 

They took some pizza out of the mini fridge and warmed it in the microwave at some point. Steve eventually started stuffing his face with junk food out of boredom. Playing games on his phone got old after an hour or so. He had a couple books with him for leisure reading, but his brain was still fried from finals to make much of an effort at reading. 

The entire day, he and Bucky danced around each other. Where before, they had touched each other casually and lightly as friends did, they now kept at least a foot or two of space between them at all times. Steve hated it, but made no move to close the distance. If things were awkward between them now, Steve didn’t want to make it even worse. 

That night was even worse than the first. They climbed into bed and slept as far away from each other as they could get. Steve didn’t fall asleep until around midnight and woke so many times during the night that he may as well have not slept at all. He rolled over onto his stomach, hoping that the new position might help him get some sleep before his biological clock rose with the sunrise and forced him out of bed. 

His dreams were filled with Bucky. In some they were together and happy, in others, Bucky pushed him away in disgust. It wasn’t restful sleep. When he stirred to wakefulness, he was aware of two things: he was warm, and morning wood was pressed against something. As he slowly came to consciousness, he realized that he was pressed against Bucky’s back, that Bucky was really warm, and that Steve’s cock was nestled against the curve of his ass. 

He froze. That’s really the best word for what happened. He didn’t do a damn thing except breath. Bucky slowly rolled over and yawned as he opened his eyes. Steve became very aware of the fact that Bucky’s morning wood was touching his. Bucky seemed to realize this a split moment later. Panic flashed through his eyes as Bucky bolted up and jumped off the bed, taking the blankets with him and clutching them in front of his crotch. 

“Shit,” Bucky swore. “Uh, sorry, my bad.” Like Steve had yesterday, Bucky dashed towards his suitcase, grabbed clothes, and headed for the bathroom. Just before he went in, he tossed the blanket on the bed. “Here, cover up.” 

The bathroom door slammed shut behind him. Steve felt like the air had been knocked out of him again. This time, he knew that Bucky was repulsed by him. His stomach felt every bit as cold and icy as the weather outside. He rolled over in the bed and clutched a pillow to his face as he felt the tears begin to form in his eyes.

The worst part was that he was angry as much as he was sad. He wasn’t the most attractive guy, he knew, but he wasn’t ugly, was he? _Bucky thinks so_ , he thought. That knowledge hurt more than anything else that Steve had experienced so far. He cursed the weather as he cried softly into the pillow. If it hadn’t been for the damn snow, they’d be home by now and none of this would’ve ever happened. 

He had no idea how long he lay there crying. Try as he might, he couldn’t get ahold of himself. He only stirred when the bed dipped and he felt a hand on his back. 

“Stevie,” Bucky said softly behind him. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

Steve rolled over to glare at Bucky. Unfortunately, Bucky looked genuinely worried about Steve, which only served to make Steve even more pissed. He grabbed his pillow and swung at Bucky. 

“I—what?! Hey!” Bucky cried. 

“Fuck you!” Steve shouted. “Fuck you, Barnes!” 

“Whoa, what’d I do?” Bucky demanded. He grabbed Steve’s hands but Steve just jerked free of Bucky’s grip. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” he shouted again. He kicked Bucky away. “Get away from me.” 

“Steve, tell me what I did wrong,” Bucky said softly. “What’s gotten into you?” 

“Me?” Steve asked incredulously. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve been acting weird these past couple days. Never used to mind touching me before, but now I guess sleeping together has made it weird or something.” 

Bucky looked confused for a long moment before Steve scoffed. 

“You, Barnes,” he growled. “You’ve been keeping away from me for days, like you hate touching me all of a sudden. I just… fuck you!” 

Steve scooted to the other end of the bed and hugged his legs to his chest. “Just… if I disgust you that much, just stay away from me.” 

He didn’t look up until he heard the door close. Bucky was gone. Steve was alone. Somehow, the confirmation just made it hurt even more. They should’ve taken the plane. They’d have to drive the rest of the way to New York and spend the rest of the holidays apart. They’d have to spend spring semester together in the apartment either pretending that they were still friends or avoiding each other. 

It hurt. God, it hurt so much, like someone had plunged a knife into his chest and carved out a lung so Steve couldn’t breathe. It had gone just about as badly as he could’ve imagined. He’d lost everything.

* * *

It was hours before Bucky came back. The sky was already starting to grow darker when the door opened again and Bucky walked back in. Steve didn’t look at him. He trained his eyes on the wall away from the door, paying only a scant amount of attention to the procedural on tv. Bucky walked over and knelt in front of Steve. Steve tried to glare at him, but he lacked the energy, now. Instead, he just felt tired and a little annoyed. 

Bucky, though, looked like a wreck. Some part of Steve felt a small bit of satisfaction at that. His eyes were bloodshot as though from crying and his face was red from the cold. He reached out to take one of Steve’s hands, but Steve slapped it away. Bucky sighed. 

"Where have you been?" Steve asked. 

"Main office," Bucky replied simply. "I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I’m sorry, Stevie.” 

Bucky gripped the blanket in front of him. Tears fell down his face. “I never wanted you to feel like I hated touching you,” he continued. 

“Why, then?” Steve asked. “I mean, I guess it can be weird seeing your friend naked, but come on. We’ve been friends for as long as we can remember, Buck. Why was it different this time?” 

“Because I love you, jerk,” Bucky said with a humorless chuckle. 

“I know,” Steve said.

“No, I mean…” Bucky trailed off. He looked into Steve’s eyes before he reached out again and took Steve’s hand. This time, Steve didn’t pull away. Bucky brought the hand to his lips and pressed a soft, wet kiss to his fingers. “I love you, Steve.” 

Steve blinked. “What the fuck?” he demanded as he sat up. Bucky blinked and panic flashed across his face. “How long have you felt this way, Bucky?” 

Bucky coughed. “Uh… few years,” he replied. Steve reeled. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, you asshole?!” 

“I did!” Bucky protested. “You think I just go around telling guys that I love them?”

“You never did anything else,” Steve said. “I thought you meant like a friend!” 

Bucky gave him a flat look. “Really, Steve?” 

Steve sighed, but a smile stretched across his lips. “I’m an idiot.” 

“Yup,” Bucky agreed. “Pretty much.” 

“I love you, too, Bucky,” Steve murmured. This time Bucky blinked. “But… why have you been acting weird?” 

“I…” Bucky trailed off. “I didn’t want to push you into anything.” 

“Idiot,” Steve said. “I’ve loved you since middle school.” 

Bucky’s jaw dropped. “Why didn’t _I_ say anything?” he sputtered. “Why didn’t _you_ say anything?! I had no idea!”

“Come on, Bucky,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “I never go out with anyone. People try to hook me up, but I always turn them down to hang out with you. Have you ever seen me be interested in someone else?” 

Bucky stared at him for a long moment before he shook his head and chuckled. “I guess we’re both idiots.” 

“Guess so,” Steve agreed. Neither of them spoke for a while. Steve entwined their fingers together and Bucky smiled. 

“Thanks,” Steve said. “For the apology. I really did think that you hated me for a while, there.” 

Bucky’s face fell. “You gotta tell me how I can make it up to you,” he said. “I feel terrible for that, I’ll do anything.” 

“Anything?” Steve asked wickedly. Bucky nodded. “Kiss me,” he ordered. 

Bucky took Steve’s face in his hands and placed a soft, tender kiss to his lips. Their lips moved together naturally. It was wetter than Steve imagined his first kiss with Bucky being, but considering that they’d each spent the day crying, that was to be expected. He rolled them over and straddled Bucky’s body as he deepened the kiss. They broke away with a gasp when Steve rolled his hips and there erections slid against each other. 

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky moaned. “Is this gonna be make up sex already?” 

Steve just rolled his hips against Bucky’s again. “You got something better in mind?” he asked. Bucky chuckled. 

“Nah,” he murmured. “Just making sure you wanted this.” 

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for fucking years,” Steve swore. 

“Me, too,” Bucky moaned. 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Steve asked, his voice low and deep. He rolled off Bucky’s body. “Strip for me, baby.” 

Bucky grinned and shivered at the tone. “Yes, sir.” 

Steve grinned. “I like that,” he murmured. “You?” 

Bucky's breath hitched as he nodded. “You’re a kinky son of a gun, Rogers. Gotta say, I like this commanding side of you,” Bucky said as he unhooked his belt and slowly took his jacket off. When he tossed it aside, Steve pulled him back down roughly. 

“What’s my name, Barnes?” he asked, a steely edge creeping into his voice as he stared into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky swallowed. 

“Sorry, sir,” Bucky said. Steve hummed with approval. 

“Good boy,” he said. “Safeword?” 

“Uh… it’s plums,” Bucky said. “Yours?” 

“Shield,” Steve replied. 

He let go of Bucky’s collar. Bucky’s eyes dilated as Steve watched him strip out of his clothes. Steve reached out and ran his hands over Bucky’s muscled torso. Bucky’s body moved to a rhythm, dancing beneath Steve’s hands. As Bucky reached down to remove his pants, Steve’s hands followed them. The jeans fell to the floor and Steve stared at Bucky’s crotch, the cock that proudly tented the cloth with a faint damp spot near the tip. Steve gripped Bucky’s groin roughly and Bucky let out a wanton moan. 

“I think that as… punishment,” Steve said lowly. Bucky swallowed at the word. “You shouldn’t come tonight. At least, not ‘til I say so. You good with that, baby?” 

“Yes, sir,” Bucky whispered. Steve cocked his head. 

“Speak up, not sure I heard that,” Steve ordered. 

“Yes, sir,” Bucky said with more certainty. 

“Good boy,” Steve said. He pulled down the boxers and freed Bucky’s cock. Then he grinned up at him wickedly. “Let me know when you’re close.” 

Without further warning, Steve took Bucky’s cock in his mouth. He moaned around the head as he tasted the bitter, salty flavor of Bucky’s pre-come. One hand reached down and gripped the base of Bucky’s cock as he bobbed on the head. The other hand reached between Bucky’s legs. Steve rolled Bucky’s balls in his hand gently. Bucky moaned above him and tilted his head back to rest against the wall. Aside from that, he remained stock still. 

Steve grinned around Bucky’s cock as he stared up at him. Had he known that Bucky would be so pliant and submissive… well, he’d have done this a lot earlier, that’s for sure. He hummed again as the head of Bucky’s cock reached the back of his mouth and Bucky released another loud moan. He dragged his tongue along the underside of the head and Bucky gasped as he bucked involuntarily into Steve’s mouth. Steve moaned again and massaged Bucky’s balls a little more. 

“Fuck, sir,” Bucky whined. “Feels so good.” 

Steve popped off Bucky’s cock and began jerking it, twisting his wrist over the head as he reached it. Bucky writhed beneath him and though Steve could honestly say that he’d never seen Bucky orgasm in his life, he looked to be fairly close. 

“What do you say, then?” Steve asked. 

“Th-Thank you, sir?” Bucky asked. 

“Is that a question?” Steve replied. 

“N-no. Thank you, sir,” Bucky said. Steve smiled and kissed the tip of Bucky’s cock. 

“Good boy. Are you close?” Steve asked. “1 being not close and 5 being you’re about to come right now.” 

Bucky thought for a moment, though it seemed to take a bit of concentration. “3,” he replied eventually. 

“Good boy,” Steve said. He took his hands off Bucky’s cock and balls. He got up and walked to his suitcase to fetch the half full bottle of lube and box of wipes. “Um, I don’t have any condoms, do you?” 

Bucky stared at him before shaking his head and chuckling with embarrassment. “Didn’t really expect for this to happen.” 

“Well, I’m clean. Are you okay not using them?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded. 

“I’m clean, too, so no worries,” he said. Steve smiled.

“Good boy,” he purred. “Kneel on the bed and put your hands on the headboard.” 

Bucky obeyed immediately. Steve took a moment to stroke up and down Bucky’s spine in approval. Bucky shivered and looked back at Steve. 

“Good boy,” Steve murmured. “You’re such a good boy for me, baby. So obedient, had no idea you could be like this.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Bucky said. 

“One of these days, I want to tie you in a harness,” Steve murmured against the shell of Bucky’s ear. He reached around Bucky’s body and ran a hand down his chest and stomach. “Think of it, your gorgeous body covered in rope, your hands bound behind your back, your ankles bound together; your body all pretty and trussed for me to use.” 

“Fuck, sir,” Bucky whined. 

“You like that?” Steve asked. He grinned. “I’d mark you up all over. Want everyone to know that you’re mine, baby. All mine.” 

“Yours,” Bucky echoed. “Please, sir.” 

“Please, what?” Steve asked. “Use your words, baby.” 

“I…” Bucky started, then he gasped as Steve began sucking on his neck just below his ear. He moaned loudly and arched his neck to give Steve better access. Steve hummed against Bucky’s neck and kept sucking. When he was satisfied with the first mark, he came off and moved down, kissing just below. 

“Well?” Steve asked. He began sucking another mark on Bucky’s neck. “Can’t give you what you want unless you tell me, baby.” 

“Please, fuck me, sir,” Bucky whined. 

“Is that all?” Steve asked against Bucky’s ear with a chuckle. His hand reached down and took Bucky’s cock in his hand again and jerked it roughly in his hand. “Yeah, baby, I’ll fuck you. I’ll get your pretty hole nice and loose for me. Then when you’re ready, I’m going to fuck you into the mattress.” 

“C-Can I come, sir?” Bucky asked. Steve shrugged. 

“If I feel like letting you,” Steve replied noncommittally. “Maybe if you’re good for me.” 

“I’ll be good, promise!” Bucky replied. 

“Will you, now?” Steve asked. “I suppose we’ll see, won’t we?” 

With that, Steve righted himself and uncapped the bottle of lube. He squeezed out a generous portion and coated his fingers with it. He spread Bucky’s ass apart and looked down at the puckering hole. He teased around it with a finger, circling the rim of Bucky’s ass. Bucky whined plaintively and rocked back against Steve’s hand. Steve pulled his hand away and tsked. 

“Now, now,” he said. “What was that about being good? You’re getting impatient already.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Bucky whined, but he still pushed back against Steve’s hand. Steve crawled up and pushed Bucky’s face down against the pillows. 

“Listen,” Steve growled. “I fuck you when _I’m_ ready to, not before. If you try to rush me again, you won’t come at all tonight, got it?” 

“I got it, sir,” Bucky said into the pillow. Steve let him up and Bucky looked up at him with a pouty expression. Steve grinned down at him. 

“How are you doing?” he asked. 

“I’m good, sir,” Bucky said. 

“Good boy,” Steve said. He moved back and resumed teasing Bucky’s hole with his fingers. He smirked as Bucky whined and moaned, but didn’t speed up. He wanted to savor this moment, opening Bucky up before sinking his cock slowly into him. He wanted to hear Bucky begging, pleading for him. 

Steve slowly pressed a finger to Bucky’s opening. He felt him tense up with a sharp intake of breath. Steve leaned down and kissed Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Relax, baby,” he murmured. “I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of you, now.” 

Bucky just hummed and Steve felt some of the tension dissipate. He pressed his finger against Bucky’s ass again and this time, he breached the tight ring of muscle. He hissed at the tight heat of Bucky’s hole. He slowly worked his finger in deeper as his other hand stroked long pets along the length of Bucky’s spine. Slowly, he felt Bucky relax around him and he added another finger. 

“Look at you,” Steve said lowly. “You take my fingers so well. You’re fucking gorgeous, baby.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Bucky moaned. His voice was tight with need. 

“How are you doing, Buck?” Steve asked. “What’s your number?” 

“4, sir,” Bucky replied. 

“Good boy. What do you need?” Steve asked. 

“I—it’s nothing,” Bucky replied. 

“Don’t sound like nothing,” Steve countered. “Tell me. Wanna make this good for you, baby.” 

Bucky swallowed. “I… can you kiss me?” Bucky asked. 

“Aw, Buck,” Steve cooed. He crawled around to Bucky’s side and with his free hand, took Bucky’s right arm off the headboard and turned Bucky’s face towards him. “Of course I can.” 

He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s soft mouth. Bucky returned it hungrily. Steve moaned into Bucky’s mouth as he deepened the kiss. His hand worked into Bucky’s ass, exploring the hole until Bucky gave a startled moan. Steve grinned against Bucky’s lips. 

“There it is,” he said. His fingers dragged along Bucky’s prostate, making him whimper against Steve’s lips. “Aww, poor baby, you’re close, aren’t you?” 

Steve moved back down and reached beneath Bucky to grasp his cock. “Remember, you don’t come until I say you do, baby,” Steve said. He squeezed Bucky’s cock again and let go. “How long can you take this, I wonder?” 

“P-please, sir!” Bucky cried. “P-please let me c-come!”

“No,” Steve said emphatically. “I’m not ready for you to come, yet. I haven’t even fucked you into the mattress.” 

Bucky whimpered as Steve kept fucking his hole with his fingers, hitting his prostate with every thrust. When he thought Bucky was loose enough, he added a third finger. Bucky hissed at the stretch and Steve grinned as he continued. Bucky’s legs began trembling with the effort of keeping himself in that position and holding back his orgasm that was probably begging for release. 

“Okay, I’m gonna fuck you, now, baby,” Steve murmured. He pulled his fingers out of Bucky’s ass slowly and cleaned them with one of the wipes. Then he gripped Bucky’s hips and lined his cock up to Bucky’s hole. “Relax. I’ve got you.” 

Bucky nodded and Steve pushed in. He moaned as he felt Bucky’s hot, tight, hole envelope his cock. He went slowly and Bucky moaned and arched his back as Steve entered him. Finally, when Steve’s hips touched Bucky’s and he was fully seated inside Bucky, he released a long sound that was half groan, half laugh. 

“Fuck,” Steve sighed. “God, you feel fucking amazing, Bucky.”

“Everything you dreamed it would be, sir?” Bucky asked. 

“Oh, baby,” Steve moaned. He bent over and draped himself across Bucky’s back and kissed him between the shoulder blades. “Yes, you were worth the wait.” 

“Well, I’m still waiting for you to fuck me,” Bucky muttered. Steve reached up and pulled his hair back. 

“Punk,” he hissed. He pulled out until only the head of his cock was in Bucky’s ass and slammed back in, hitting Bucky’s prostate. Bucky moaned loudly and arched his back more. “Is this what you wanted?” Steve asked as he slammed into Bucky again. “You wanted me to fuck your tight ass ‘til you can’t walk straight?” 

“Fuck, yes, please, sir!” Bucky cried. “Please, I want it, want your cock! Give it to me, please!” 

“You’re so pretty when you beg,” Steve purred. He pushed on his back until Bucky was face down on the mattress and fucked into him at a brutal pace. Bucky moaned into the bed beneath him, his hands fisting in the sheets and his moans muffled by the pillow. Steve gripped Bucky’s hips as he fucked into him, moaning and groaning up at the ceiling. 

He reached around Bucky’s body and took his cock in hand. He jerked it in tandem with his thrusts. Bucky picked his head up and whined with need. 

“What’s your number, baby?” Steve asked. 

“5, sir!” Bucky whined. “Fuck, I need to come! Please, sir, let me come!” 

“Not yet,” Steve replied with a grin. He picked up the pace, moving his hands up to grip Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky moaned loudly with desperation. 

“Please, please, sir!” he cried. “I need to come, please, I’ll be good!” 

“I know you will, baby,” Steve groaned. “Fuck, you’re so good, baby, taking my cock so good. Haven’t come once since we started, such a good boy.” 

“Yes, sir, I’m your good boy,” Bucky echoed. 

“Damn right. You’re mine,” Steve declared. He kissed between Bucky’s shoulder blades. 

“Yours,” Bucky agreed. “‘Til the end of the line.” 

“Good boy,” Steve growled. “Come for me, baby. Come on my cock.” 

Bucky cried out as Steve felt him tighten around his cock. Bucky’s member pulsed in Steve’s hand as he shot his load out onto the bed beneath them. Steve fucked him through his orgasm until Bucky flopped onto the bed as though he suddenly became boneless. 

“I’m gonna come in you, baby,” Steve groaned as he kept fucking. “Gonna fill you up and have you dripping. You’re gonna feel it and remember who you belong to.” 

“Fuck, please, sir!” Bucky moaned. “I want it, give it to me, please!” 

Steve grunted and groaned as he came, shooting his come into Bucky’s hot, waiting ass. As soon as he did, his entire body felt like it was singing. Bucky, his Bucky, lay beneath him and Steve collapsed on top of him gasping for breath. Bucky reached behind him and stroked Steve’s smooth skin until Steve managed to summon the energy to pull out and collapse next to Bucky on the bed. 

“Fuck, Stevie,” Bucky gasped. “That was… fucking amazing. God… I needed that.” 

Steve smiled. “So were you,” he said. “I can’t believe you let me do that to you. Thank you.” 

“I mean…” Bucky trailed off. “I _can_ top. I just really love bottoming.” 

Steve chuckled. “I can tell,” he replied. 

“By the way, where did you learn to dom like that?” Bucky asked. “I mean, I’ve tried some stuff, but you were really good at it.” 

“I… may have taken some classes on the weekends over the past couple years,” Steve replied. 

“Well, whoever taught you did a good job,” Bucky said. 

They lay silently together in a tangle of limbs. Steve idly wondered if he should go out and see if he could get some fresh sheets. It would probably be better than one of them sleeping in a wet spot tonight. 

“Hey, Steve?” Bucky asked, interrupting Steve’s thoughts. 

“Yeah?” 

“What… what are we?” Bucky asked. Steve rolled over to look down at him. He cleared Bucky’s face of some stray strands of hair. His eyes explored Bucky’s handsome face, the one that Steve always ended up thinking about in the still hours of the night when sleep evaded him and loneliness clawed in his chest like a hungry animal. Now he was here. Bucky was beside him. Steve bent down to kiss him. 

“I want to be your boyfriend,” he said. “If that’s what you want.” 

Bucky smiled in relief. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Yeah, I wanna be your boyfriend, too.” 

Steve smiled and kissed him again. It was sweet and chaste and somehow more intimate than their kisses in the throes of passion had been. Bucky pulled back with a yawn and Steve guffawed. 

“What, you getting sleepy or something?” he asked. 

“A bit,” Bucky admitted. “I mean, it’s been a long couple days and you wore me out, so…” 

“You thought we were done?” Steve asked. Then he laughed and rolled over on top of Bucky. Bucky blinked. “Oh, baby. I’ve waited to have you for so long and now you’re finally mine. Of course we're not done! I gotta make up for lost time.” 

Bucky looked up at him and grinned. Steve felt Bucky’s cock twitch beneath him and he reached down to take it in his hand. 

“Think you can keep up?” Steve asked. 

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

That night when they finally ended up falling asleep was the most restful night Steve had had in a long time. He woke up in Bucky’s arms the way he’d dreamed of doing for years and years. When they were both fully awake, they negotiated what they wanted their relationship to look like. As expected, Bucky was fine with Steve taking the lead so long as the important stuff was negotiated as equals. The storm let up around midnight the next day. Bucky and Steve spent most of that time doing the only thing they really had to do. 

When they finally ended up hitting the road, the car was filled with amiable silence, Christmas carols, or Steve and Bucky talking about everything and nothing just like they always had. Sometimes one of them had a story about something the other had done once that only worked to make them fall more in love. 

It was evening by the time they reached the outskirts of New York City and another hour or so before they managed to get to Steve’s apartment in Brooklyn. They walked up the steps hand in hand and just before Steve could open the door to his apartment, the door burst open. 

“Steve, Bucky!” his ma shouted. “You’re here! Oh, I’m so glad you two are safe!” 

Steve was pulled into a bone crushing hug and he groaned. “Yes, Ma, we’re fine,” he said. “It’s good to… see you… too. Can’t… breathe.” 

She let him go and Steve breathed in the sweet air of freedom. She moved on to Bucky and before Steve could take a step into his home, Bucky’s parents were there. 

“Uh, what’s going on?” Steve asked. 

“We just wanted to welcome you all back home,” Bucky’s ma said. “We’ve been so worried for you boys. Are you two okay? Did you get on alright during the storm?” 

“Yeah, ma, we’re fine,” Bucky replied. “Actually we got something to announce, since you’re all here.” 

Steve took Bucky’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Bucky and I are together, now,” he said. The three parents were all silent for a moment before Sarah jumped up and cheered. 

“Yes! About time!” she cried. 

“God dammit, son,” Bucky’s parents grumbled. Before Steve could demand what they meant by that, each of Bucky’s parents took out $50 and handed the money to Sarah. 

“You guys took bets on whether we’d end up together during the storm?” Bucky demanded incredulously. 

“Oh, honey, no,” Sarah said. “We were betting on when you two would get your shit together. I said it would happen by the end of undergrad.” 

“Grad school,” Bucky’s dad said, raising a hand. 

“I was betting that it would happen when you turned 30,” Bucky’s ma grumbled. 

"You really had no faith in your own son?" Bucky asked. 

"Not my fault you two are idiots," she replied. Steve and Bucky looked at each other and blushed. It might've taken that long for them to end up together if it hadn't been for the blizzard. 

“Well, merry Christmas, Sarah, I guess?” Bucky said. 

“Merry Christmas, honey,” she said. “Now come in, you boys must be exhausted.” 

An hour later, Bucky and Steve fell asleep on the couch with Bucky’s head in Steve’s lap. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s soft locks as he nodded off with Christmas music playing in the background. His ma and Bucky's parents gave them a wide berth as they made gingerbread cookies and the smell filled the air. It made Steve feel warm and at ease. 

_Home_ , he thought as he drifted off. _It's good to be home_.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Merry Christmas/blessed Yule/happy belated Hanukkah/happy holidays, my loves! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense (for as long as it's still around, anyway)!


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